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TITLE: 10 tips on how to have less drama and more momentum to attract what you want.

1) From 1 to 10 how much do you trust people?

(1 being that you don't trust they will do what they say and

10 being that you completely trust that they will do what they say)

Trust is so important that it takes a whole year to win a man's trust or a woman's trust. A year!!! Building trust and making sure people trust you is great for connection. Everyone can trust each other. We don't though. We were programmed to be skeptical about each other. Trust and fear cannot fit in the same room. We can go back to the trust we used to have when we were toddlers. In this category you will find many ways to do so. We call it "falling into trust".

Trust can be built. People have been hit and hurt by life just like you. The best is to be patient, to acknowledge them and to love them no matter how much silence they give you. If you present anger to them, you lose trust points. If you present frustration to them, you lose trust points. If you present self-pity to them, you lose trust points. If you don't present any of these (anger, frustration and self-pity) for at least a year, you build trust. There's a way to leave those three out of your life. People think they are a normal part of life. It's normal if you want to live in pain and if you want to show everyone your pain patterns. Anger, frustration and self-pity create disconnection. You can build trust if you point out facts without a whiny voice, if you entertain people and make them laugh and if you present a "game" to play without being attached if they want to play or not. Your words can be heard if you are playful and detached. All you are doing is finding new players for your game (business game / relationship game). It's a matter of building trust with people that you are really curious about. If you want to win their trust, you give them a year. After a year or during the year, if they present signs of not appreciating your game or not seeing your vision, then you let them kindly off "your team" or they cut themselves out. People come and go. You are wasting time if you keep people that are not giving you energy. Let's keep the ones that give us energy and are curious back.

2) From 1 to 10 how much "break time" do you allow yourself?

(1 being that you don't take breaks at all and

10 being that you take a break every time you need it)

People can work and have lots of energy at the same time. Many people are "programmed" to give, give, give and to work until their last drop of energy. People get pressured to show others that they are working a lot and that they are "doing" something useful and productive to society. They were probably punished for being lazy when they were growing up. They are working hard just to not get punished. Where is the replenishing? It takes your life away if you are only giving and working. You can get what you need AND be more productive because you got what you needed. If you make sure you get what you need, you will feel replenished. It could be as simple as a coffee, a soda, a walk, a massage, a dance break, a nap, a call, dropping an opinion, dropping something that you can't control. Sometimes you need attention. There are so many options to get attention: a job where you have to make a lot of presentations, a course you develop that you can teach to several students, a group of people that you organize to do performances. The trick is open up your heart and put away the voices that don't let you get what you need because you heard in the past that that was "too lazy" of you or "too selfish" of you etc... You have permission to NOT listen to that voice. You have permission to get what you need. You can get what you need first (or in the middle of a project. It does not matter). You get replenished so you can be in service for others!! This being in service for others "expands" you as long as you have made sure to be replenished.

3) From 1 to 10 how excited are you about the job or business project that you have?

(1 being that you go just to get a paycheck and

10 being that you could do that 14 hours a day)

Life can be very exciting for everyone. People are not connected to each other and do not feel a sense of belonging even if they have a business team or a family team. People are isolated. You can get help from human beings, not from animals or robots. You only get help, money and love from other human beings (and some dogs....ha ha ha). Look at how many things you have done in your life that almost didn't happen. But they did! Against all odds you have achieved so many things. Even the easy things that come your way, could have been blocked by something. . . but they didn't. Your life is very exciting! How much more exciting do you want it to be? You can expand yourself by having a high sense of belonging.

Everyone can be free. Everyone was not born caring what the other did. No matter what anyone did, you just loved everything. Then someone showed you how to control or manipulate people with fear or guilt or pressure. On the surface they looked like they had the power. In reality they were sharing a program that they themselves were taught about controlling situations or people. You learned it from someone that was just the shadow of herself/himself. Everything that has begun is breaking down anyway. It feels so much better to let it be. There is more power in letting go than in forcing something.

You can find your power in letting go. People try to control each other. When you want somebody to be a certain way (warmer, quieter, sexier, faster), you already lost. Opinions about somebody, distance you from them and you shut yourself out of possible surprises. When you are trying to control an outcome or an answer or a person, you analyze and procrastinate and wallow in blurriness instead of getting a real answer. The moment you say something or somebody "should" be or do something, you jump to a completely different dimension of pain. Controlling is living a lie; it's living in a fake world. Nobody is asking you to control their lives. What or who do you have a control of? There is your lie. There is your chain. It has a hold of you instead of you on it. If you let go, you will set yourself free and you will get an abundance of options, answers and outcomes like never before. We cannot be "in control" of what is happening. We can only be "in charge" of our reactions to what is happening. Let's live "in charge" instead of "in control". There's more joy when we know we don't "own" anything.

People can be selfless and make each other happy. We are programmed to think only about ourselves. When you want to be "in control" of what is happening, you are literally thinking how this "one" outcome and this other "one" outcome will affect YOU!! It gets heavy. It's painful. You get mad if it doesn't go your way. The attention is on yourself several times a day. When you are "in charge" of what is happening, you "sense" many possible outcomes instead of just "one" outcome here and "one" outcome there. It goes with the flow. It's not "choppy". It's more open to receive. It's not narrow. You are in charge of your reactions. You don't give your power away by getting mad if the "one" outcome here and there is not what you want. You "see" further. You love the unknown. You see clearer which people and which options need to be taken or dropped. Let's live "in charge" instead of "in control". Just accepting from the heart that nothing is FOR SURE, brings a certain peace and calm. It's a detached state like where kids are. If you accept that nothing is for sure from your mind, there's still some anger there. The more you LOVE that things don't go your way, the more you stay open to receive other things that you could not have imagined.

4) From 1 to 10 how much are you at peace with the results you have every day?

(1 being that you don't like the results at all and

10 being that you want that kind of result every day)

You can go with the flow and still get what you want. Going with the flow keeps your magnetism. When you allow you receive. You were born really light without pressure. Everything can be easy and fun. You have been taught a pressure program that makes you put pressure on something or someone to get things done. This program says "You can't have it unless you have worked really hard for it.". What would life be like without this program? Pressure is a big turn off. It destroys families and business deals. You can be quick but not rush. You can hurry but not rush. If pressure is present, the productivity goes down. Mistakes start to happen. You start losing things. If the team has pressure, people start missing the exit or dropping their cellphone or losing a report or almost getting into an accident or not seeing the person that was walking behind your car while you were backing out or not finding an email. Some of these instances are due to pressure. The vision and creativity get blurry. Things have to be done and they can be done without pressure. You can give people a game when you want them to complete a task. You can tell them (without pressure in your voice) a time that you would like the task to be done: "in 5 minutes", "in 2 hours", "by tomorrow at 12 noon", "by December the 12th", "we meet back at 3:40 pm". If they did not complete the task by the time you asked them, you don't make them feel wrong or bad or punished. You just state the obvious. You state the facts without anger in your voice. No guilt should come in or else the team spirit goes down. You just give them feedback without anger and you give them a new game. People stay on your team or they filter themselves out anyway. Also if you feel bad that today you had no money results or love results, then you have pressure on you. You have permission to NOT feel bad. You can see clearer without all that pressure. How do things come out when there's pressure? How do things come out when you couldn't care less about the outcome? In which one of these scenarios does it feel sweeter and lighter? I invite you there. Just when you think everything is lost and won't happen, you let go and in the letting go is where the magic happens.

5) From 1 to 10 how much do you give warmth to people?

(1 being that you are doing doing doing and not really acknowledging people because you are busy and

10 being that you make sure you give one acknowledgement to people every single time you see them even if you have seen them twice that day)

People can be warm to each other every day. They can play and appreciate anyone and any situation. They can "see" each other. Their heart gets shut down every day by many situations that they "let" get to them and/or their ego forms opinions and that makes people blind. They stop "seeing" each other. They don't acknowledge each other. They make things important. When you make anything important, your energy goes down: If you make it important that somebody calls you very little, you get mad. If you make it important that somebody said a comment about you, you get mad. If you make it important that the police just caught you with an expired sticker on your car, you get mad. If you make it important that somebody wasted your time, you get mad. Humans are not perfect. We all have our light side and our dark side. You can create a world where you keep your power and you just appreciate everything that happens to you and to everyone. You can acknowledge people. To be able to acknowledge people your heart has to be open. What opens up your heart? A baby, sunset, your sons and daughters when they were babies? Acknowledgement means to really see a person and mention out loud what you see they do well. Once you have your heart open you can acknowledge. The acknowledgement has to be VERY specific to "hit" their heart. There's is a great difference between "Good job" and "You drive your family around everywhere. You come and go with all of them." The person feels SEEN and feels good. Everyone wins because you opened up your heart to say these words and the person opened up their heart and maybe even giggled and expressed himself/herself how he/she does what you mentioned. They will probably do it more and with more zest in their step. The honor of two hearts are bonded. The acknowledgements have to come from the heart or else the person will feel manipulated. Acknowledgements save time too. Do you really acknowledge people throughout your conversations? Even those conversations where you talk quickly to vendors, clients or family members? Taking at least 5 minutes more throughout your conversations to appreciate people seems like a long time especially with all these things you have to do daily to get tasks done as fast as possible. When you say things direct, to the point and without a connection, you are wasting your time & energy. Without a connection there's a lot of explaining and aggression. going back and forth. It takes MORE time than the 5 additional minutes of acknowledgements. This additional time could have been saved with some appreciation and playfulness. It also feels much better. Acknowledgements save time and open doors for more money and/or love for you. You can also acknowledge yourself so your heart opens. I give you a game. Say three acknowledgements a day for three days this week. Notice what happens! When you are warm to people, warmth will come to you from sources that you may not even imagine!

6) From 1 to 10 how much do you say what you need to say?

(1 being you never say what needs to be said to not cause a stir and

10 that you ALWAYS say something no matter how it cones out)

Every business team and every family can keep the team spirit up. Everyone can speak out what they notice. People punish each other for saying what is not working. They get shut down. People love to blame it on somebody. You can go beyond people's pain and drama. Your voice can be heard. You can express anything you want. When you speak out the obvious, you shed light in what EVERYBODY SEES but everybody's afraid to say. Except you. You are not afraid to say it. Everybody can breath after you spoke out the obvious and there's a sense of relief in the air. You let everybody take off some pressure. You saved the day. You can say the obvious like: "You are mad", "I see this bothers you", "You didn't come when you said you would come", "We don't have clear instructions", "You are talking to your son with a lot of rage", "You have a lot of intensity when you talk about politics". All this pointing out the obvious diffuses the heaviness. It's not advice. Advice would be something like "Don't be mad", "Don't let this bother you", "Come when you say you are going to be here", "Give me clear instructions", "Don't talk to your son with rage", "Don't talk about politics". Advice brings the energy down. Saying the obvious is great. It brings the intensity and enthusiasm up. Pointing out the obvious is called FEEDBACK. There's a trick though. If you speak out the obvious in a fun, playful way, your words will be heard and they will not be taken personally. It has to be mentioned in a FUN and PLAYFUL way and you being DETACHED from the end result if they stop or not. Everybody wins. The people around you need to know that some of their behaviors bring down your energy and the energy of the business team or family team. A second trick is to love their reaction. You can love both reactions if it's a loving reaction or if it's a hateful reaction. You celebrate it instead of taking it personal. You wait for them to make a move. It could take a day or two weeks or a year. Who knows. You can love any move they make. If they make the move you wanted or not. And all this for what? For you to keep your power and your clarity. You have permission to talk as if you had nothing to lose. You have nothing to lose anyway

7) From 1 to 10 how much do people invite you to places or to projects?

(1 that they never invite you and 10 that you get one invitation a day)

People can make each other shine. They don't. They spend time thinking about how to beat the other person or how bad something looked on him/her, or how to suppress their fun and bring down something that everyone is celebrating or they want to disconnect you and another person that you get along very well with. They create disconnection with their envy. You do it too if you let your ego or other people activate your aggression. Envy is a form of aggression. It does not feel good. When you becomes aware of your envy, you can let go of the envy by opening up your heart to yourself and them and then "it" lets go of you. You will feel like yourself again. You can be one that is light and gives light to everyone. This position is so much easier. Your "job" can be just making people "right". People love to share what they are excited about. When they do, you can get excited with them even if it's a chemistry book or vintage purses that they are making with feathers. As you celebrate people your energy goes up and you keep your power. You get invited to places that you would have never thought. Your life could be so much lighter and more doors would open. You are making people shine from your heart.

8) From 1 to 10 how much peace do you have when things don't go your way?

(1 being that you don't like it at all when things don't go your way and you get frustrated and

10 being that you yield to things, accept things and can play with situations every single time when things don't go your way)

Everyone can be free. Everyone was not born caring what the other did. No matter what anyone did, you just loved everything. Then someone showed you how to control or manipulate people with fear or guilt or pressure. On the surface they looked like they had the power. In reality they were sharing a program that they themselves were taught about controlling situations or people. You learned it from someone that was just the shadow of herself/himself. Everything that has begun is breaking down anyway. It feels so much better to let it be. There is more power in letting go than in forcing something.

You can find your power in letting go. People try to control each other. When you want somebody to be a certain way (warmer, quieter, sexier, faster, more attentive), you already lost. Opinions about somebody, distance you from them and you shut yourself out of possible surprises. When you are trying to control an outcome or an answer or a person, you analyze and procrastinate and wallow in blurriness instead of getting a real answer. The moment you say something or somebody "should" be or do something, you jump to a completely different dimension of pain. Controlling is living a lie; it's living in a fake world. Nobody is asking you to control their lives. What or who do you have a control of? There is your lie. There is your chain. It has a hold of you instead of you on it. If you let go, you will set yourself free and you will get an abundance of options, answers and outcomes like never before. We cannot be "in control" of what is happening. We can only be "in charge" of our reactions to what is happening. Let's live "in charge" instead of "in control". There's more joy when we know we don't "own" anything.

People can be selfless and make each other happy. We are programmed to think only about ourselves. When you want to be "in control" of what is happening, you are literally thinking how this "one" outcome and this other "one" outcome will affect YOU!! It gets heavy. It's painful. You get mad if it doesn't go your way. The attention is on yourself several times a day. When you are "in charge" of what is happening, you "sense" many possible outcomes instead of just "one" outcome here and "one" outcome there. It goes with the flow. It's not "choppy". It's more open to receive. It's not narrow. You are in charge of your reactions. You don't give your power away by getting mad if the "one" outcome here and there is not what you want. You "see" further. You love the unknown. You see clearer which people and which options need to be taken or dropped. Let's live "in charge" instead of "in control". Just accepting from the heart that nothing is FOR SURE, brings a certain peace and calm. It's a detached state like where kids are. If you accept that nothing is for sure from your mind, there's still some anger there. The more you LOVE that things don't go your way, the more you stay open to receive other things that you could not have imagined.

9) From 1 to 10 how much REAL connection do you have with people in general?

(1 being that there's a nice conversation but not really a connection and you formed an opinion of them before even having a conversation with them and

10 being that you REALLY "SAW" this person and accepted him/her 100%).

People can see everything as it "is". This vision makes everyone light, fun AND powerful. People form opinions though. You let a thought in and you see the world from that ONE thought, from that point of view. It's a NARROW point of view. Because of that opinion, your fun and your inspiration are gone. That opinion brings a mood in, boredom, an attitude or a wall up. You cannot be "seen" anymore. Your opinion can form a drama show that does not get the attention you really want. Then people form opinions of you. It's quite a cycle. Opinions range from what people do to their body, which parents raised a boy that went on a killing spree, what people do to their marriage, what people wear, how loud they are… etc… Men have opinions about women. Women have opinions about men. So many opinions going around "in the air". You can end this cycle. You can open up your world. You can put those opinions and judgments to the side and drop them. Even the ones people have of you. You can let those opinions of you "go through you". You can be "SEEN" by people because they feel seen and accepted without your opinions of them or without the opinions they have of you. You can be yourself. The path is clear. You did nothing wrong. You may have just made some mistakes and created disconnection but that does not make you a bad person. They are just mistakes. The connection can be turned on again when those opinions are dropped. What is the opposite of having opinions? To be in a state of wonder is the opposite. It's lighter and people or those opinions can't get a "hold of you" when you are in wonder. You are just enjoying the show and keeping your power. You can always follow your curiosity where you feel good.

10) From 1 to 10 how much do you contemplate the present moment?

(1 being that you are always at a task and thinking about the next task or the things you have to do in the next hour and

10 being that you are fully aware of the present task at hand no matter how routine that task is)

You can keep your energy and your power when you keep your focus on the PRESENT moment. The present task at hand. The present conversation. The present situation where you have a roof on top of your head and plenty of talents. You let your mind "lose you" though. You get lost in the past. Sadness comes in. Thinking about the past brings the energy down if you let the ego come in to "long" for the good old times. It wants you to make yourself wrong for things that you did or did not do in the past (even last week or yesterday or 10 minutes ago). It ruins your present moment. Where are you right now? You are right here, nothing is happening to you, nobody is physically attacking you, you are safe. You are not in that sad moment from the past. There is power in the present moment. You can even take the time to feel it with a couple of long deep breaths. The energy can stay high if you think WITHOUT "LONGING" about the past memories that made you feel alive. Those memories are powerful and add fire to your life. Like when you danced the night away at a far away place or when you went on an adventure with your high school friends or when you sang that song you like in your car!! You can be in charge of your energy. The ego that wants to hurt you and make you feel small has to be kept tamed. That's all!! It's easy to tame it with your heart.

All these tips and more at THE LANGUAGE OF CONNECTION. It's 100 lessons to speak and "live" this new language. It's fun and you keep your power!! Please recommend it to your friends too!!

Here is the link. All 100 lessons are only $200: thelanguageofconnection.teachable.com