Lesson #46: WHEN YOU DON'T CARE (WHEN YOU STOP BEING IN "CARING" MODE), YOU CONNECT.

(APPRECIATION TOOL LESSON ---- brings happiness to your life and your heart opens)

DESCRIPTION: You can be surrounded with very powerful people. They can protect you and take care of you. You can protect and take care of people too. People are throwing knives at each other and sharing all their pain. They want others to protect them and take care of them. It's like they are blind that they already have access to protection and care and they are demanding it with their pity parties. They are not getting the protection and care that they want from a specific person or group of people. That's where the pity comes in just like anger. . . when you don't get what you want exactly from where you want it. Those pity parties don't serve you or anyone. All they do is make everyone uncomfortable. You say subtle messages that make people see you as a victim. People see you small when you convince them and then you get mad because they are seeing you small. Not only that, when people are whiny and sucking energy, others want to punish them. So people are seeing you as a victim and deep inside they want to make you disappear somehow. They will react with the typical two types of reactions: fight or flight. So all of a sudden you will activate someone's aggression with your self-pity and they will want to fight you and "kill" you but because it's against the law to kill someone and they don't want to go to jail, they will attack you in some other form. Whatever they do, they will definitely want to attack you with non solicited advice (Lesson #56), telling you solutions with a demeaning tone of voice, pressuring you to solve the problem you are complaining about. . . etc . . . Same thing when you are on the other side of this situation. When someone presents themselves as a victim and you believe it, you will want to solve his/her problem, give advice, say solutions with pressure or condescending tone of voice or there is going to be overall frustration even if you are talking to them with a warm tone of voice. You carry people's weight and basically it's called "caring". You even post things on social media for people to see how caring you are. Society says we should care for people. We ask the obligated question "How are you doing?". Watch out! People will tell you and it's not going to be pretty. They usually answer with their painful stories and how things are not going their way. It's just too heavy to care!! If you go into caring mode then you believe people are victims. Nobody is a victim. They were born champions too. They just have some programs that are painful now. You can see past their pain and ego. You can be kind and stay kind and you don't have to carry their weight. You have permission to not care. You can do whatever you want. You can measure your energy when you care and you can measure your energy when you don't care and just stay kind without carrying the weight. You will make a distinction that will help you decide.

INSTRUCTION FOR YOU TO KEEP YOUR POWER AND FOR YOU TO SERVE THE TEAM SPIRIT (NOT A PERSON IN PARTICULAR):

Do not care for people or their situations (in the sense of caring AND carrying people's weight and believing their pity stories). Stay kind and say kind words. Just don't go into their stories. Do not see people as victims. See them as champions. See past their pain. Do not give advice (Lesson #56). Do not give people solutions or solve their problems (Lesson #77). Do not make yourself wrong if you believed people's pity stories and your energy went down. Do make people wrong that want you to buy their pity stories. Do not give them advice. Just observe. Give feedback if you want. (Lesson #56 / Lesson #73 & #74 / Lesson #60). (All this is what a toddler would do and as an adult if you do this you keep your connection and your power. When you follow these instructions, your levels of happiness & self-esteem open and you are open to receive.)

You are "in resistance" if you do any of these behaviors below. A resistance "leaks" money and/or love AND stops your momentum of your results, your adventure and aliveness. When you have a resistance or a mood, you block $10,000 of income. People create a memory of your reactions and behaviors and then decide to stay around or distance themselves. You don't have to keep everyone happy. It's not about that. It's about keeping the team spirit up in case you want to keep those particular people around (family or business related). When you drop these resistances (distractions), you have a better chance of becoming one of the 2% of high performers in the world. You can only drop these resistances with the help of your heart not with your mind.

All these resistances listed below create disconnection to yourself and the people around you. The ego is the one that wants you to feel small and wants everything to seem small. All these are when you are "in your head" where the ego is. The team "spirit" (of a business team or family team) goes down if:

• If you believe people's stories and they take you down to caring mode and you lose time and momentum for you and your team.

• If you see people as victims.

• If you don't see past people's pain.

• If you give advice.

• If you give people solutions.

• If you feel bad about anything or anyone ("caring mode").

• If you make yourself wrong if you went into caring mode.

• If you make anyone wrong that is caring and carrying people's weight.

• If you give advice trying to make anyone not care.

• If you don't stop to observe that they are just coming from a shut down level of aliveness.

:::: Basically nothing is wrong or right. It just is. This way you keep your power and momentum.

If you attach to the end result, your energy will go down. If you stop being in "caring" mode, it does not mean that people will be attracted to you immediately. It takes time to build trust and connection and there are many factors. You are "trying people out for your team". Not everyone will make it. Some are too addicted to pain and want to stay in the fight. You can let them go as quick as possible. They might come around later in a gentler mode but you can't force it. This is why there are 100 lessons. Please practice and study them all until the end so your connection understanding is complete. Please call Mariana Cortez if you have any questions on how to master this lesson (512) 636-8846 in the US. Sometimes it needs an "experience" to understand the lesson with your heart and playfulness instead of your mind. You have a free 30 minutes Language of Connection session over coffee or Skype with Mariana Cortez. Then any other day if you want you can schedule a 60 minute session for $60.

You can send this link to your friends for them to order THE LANGUAGE OF CONNECTION for only $200 and so you can all speak the same language if you want to:
thelanguageofconnection.teachable.com

Every single lesson is a review of what I learned at Sage University (www.sageuniversity.com) in this particular topic of this lesson. Check out their calendar tab. You could go to Europe to take a class over there! Sage University has amazing workshops about relationship, leadership, salesmanship and entrepreneurship in Ibiza Spain (and everywhere including Bora Bora and Hawaii) where you can transform into that person that you were born to be.