Lesson #3: WHEN PEOPLE COMPLAIN, SHARE THEIR PAIN WITH YOU AND YOU DON'T "BUY THEIR STORY", YOU CONNECT.

(COLLABORATION TOOL LESSON ---- brings trust to your life)

DESCRIPTION: People have the power to feel good all the time. They get "hit" by life and by others' drama so they start not feeling so good after all. They don't know how to handle these hits so they like to vent. They love to spread their virus. Their self-pity virus, their anger virus, their pressure virus. They create disconnection by venting. It may seem that you and them have bonded but if you talk about the same things every week, people get tired. And then these viruses get on you. All of a sudden you are passing anger and pressure to someone else. And it's not even yours! And it may not have even been theirs. You take things personal, it may not have been about you in the first place. People can bring you down. You can measure your energy when you are with a person or when you are not with them or when they leave a room (to go to the bathroom or to take a call outside or go home). You can see a difference if you feel more at ease or not or more playful or not or more relaxed or not. They are not wrong but they are bringing your energy down. You can get them out of their trance. Everybody wins. You can hear them out without "believing their story or their pain" and then you can entertain them. What you are doing by not believing their story and entertaining them is protecting yourself and them. Nobody can afford to have their energy go down. You are in service when you try to get people out of their "trance". Many are addicted to their pain so don't be surprised that maybe they laugh a little and get entertained by you but then fall back into their pain. There are many voices and pressures that people let bring them down. You can be their sunshine. You can amuse yourself.

INSTRUCTION FOR YOU TO KEEP YOUR POWER AND FOR YOU TO SERVE THE TEAM SPIRIT (NOT A PERSON IN PARTICULAR):

Do not make people wrong that share their pain. Listen to people's pain stories without "buying" into them. Do not form an opinion of them or get angry as they are talking. Just observe that they are shut down and observe which level of aliveness they are coming from. Come up with something funny after one minute of listening if possible. Even if you think it's rude to say, say it anyway and laugh or smile when you say it. Do not share your pain with anyone. Do not complain. Do not make yourself wrong if you do share your pain. Just see how it feels. Do not give them advice. Just observe. Give feedback if you want. (Lesson #56 / Lesson #73 & #74 / Lesson #60). (All this is what a toddler would do and as an adult if you do this you keep your connection and your power. When you follow these instructions, your level of trust opens and you are open to receive.)

You are "in resistance" if you do any of these behaviors below. A resistance "leaks" money and/or love AND stops your momentum of your results, your adventure and aliveness. When you have a resistance or a mood, you block $10,000 of income. People create a memory of your reactions and behaviors and then decide to stay around or distance themselves. You don't have to keep everyone happy. It's not about that. It's about keeping the team spirit up in case you want to keep those particular people around (family or business). It's also about keeping the connection so you support yourself and the team at hand to create and receive possibilities that individually could not have been possible. Everyone gets clear instead of "blurry" without the pressure or obstacles these resistances create. When you drop these resistances (distractions), you have a better chance of becoming one of the 2% of high performers in the world. You can only drop these resistances with the help of your heart not with your mind.

All these resistances listed below create disconnection to yourself and the people around you. The ego is the one that wants you to feel small and wants everything to seem small. All these are when you are "in your head" where the ego is. The team "spirit" (of a business team or family team) goes down if:

• If you "buy" people's story. Even if they are in physical pain. You can be kind to them but if you carry their problem, your energy will go down.

• If you get angry that people are sharing their complaints.

• If you want to fix their problem or try to convince them that it's not so bad.

• If you expect them to get light after you tried to entertain.

• If you take it personal that they are complaining.

• If you feel bad that you were not buying their story.

• If you make yourself wrong for "buying" people's stories.

• If you make anyone wrong that is "buying" people's stories.

• If you give advice trying to make anyone stop "buying" people's stories.

• If you don't stop to observe that they are just coming from a shut down level of aliveness.

:::: Basically nothing is wrong or right. It just is. This way you keep your power and momentum.

If you attach to the end result, your energy will go down. If you don't "flip" them into being lighter, it does not mean that people will be attracted to you immediately. It takes time to build trust and connection and there are many factors. You are "trying people out for your team. Not everyone will make it. Some are too addicted to pain and want to stay in the fight. You can let them go as quick as possible. They might come around later in a gentler mode but you can't force it. This is why there are 100 lessons. Please practice and study them all until the end so your connection understanding is complete. Please call Mariana Cortez if you have any questions on how to master this lesson (512) 636-8846 in the US. Sometimes it needs an "experience" to understand the lesson with your heart and playfulness instead of your mind. You have a free 30 minutes Language of Connection session over coffee or Skype with Mariana Cortez. Then any other day if you want you can schedule a 60 minute session for $60.

You can send this link to your friends for them to order THE LANGUAGE OF CONNECTION for only $200 and so you can all speak the same language if you want to:
thelanguageofconnection.teachable.com

Every single lesson is a review of what I learned at Sage University (www.sageuniversity.com) in this particular topic of this lesson. Check out their calendar tab. You could go to Europe to take a class over there! Sage University has amazing workshops about relationship, leadership, salesmanship and entrepreneurship in Ibiza Spain (and everywhere including Bora Bora and Hawaii) where you can transform into that person that you were born to be.