Lesson #31: WHEN YOU DON'T LET ANYONE HAVE A "HOLD OF YOU", YOU CONNECT.

(YIELDING TOOL LESSON ---- brings sense of belonging & excitement to your life)

DESCRIPTION: You can have more momentum in your projects than ever. You can be completely aware of "what" or "who" is stopping you. People put a "hold" on each other just by thinking about you or you thinking about them and putting expectations or anger "vibes" on them. This 'hold" comes from their comments that you believed or the attacks that you took personal. You can be more aware of when you take things personal just because of the fact that their comments bother you (Lesson # 33). If someone or a comment has a "hold of you" then you have given him/her or it your power.

Another type of "hold" is when sometimes you say things that other people influence you to say or want you to complain about. Or you add anger to your tone of voice because someone is influencing you to be stern or mad with a person or a group of people. These people that influence you with their comments or just their presence have a "hold of you" if they are making you have some kind of agreement with them. Sometimes they don't even say a thing but their "vibe" makes you NOT be yourself. They might have just said comments here and there to manipulate you. People are always trying to control each other. Everyone wants to control their kids, wives, ex-wives, husbands, ex-husbands, neighbors and co-workers (Lesson #28). It's all a big "hold" war out there. And they do it without even knowing it. They are just following their programs. If you're having fun and in the back of your mind you are making sure everyone is having fun and it bothers you that somebody in the party or at home or at work is not having fun, then they have a "hold of you". If you notice something has been on your mind bothering you, then they have a "hold of you". You are giving away your power. Sometimes you give away your power for an hour or two just by letting it bother you and thinking about it. Sometimes you give away days, sometimes weeks, sometimes years.

Sometimes you believe people's gossip too and they have a "hold of you" if you treat the people that they gossiped about according to their point of view. You are not being yourself. People gossip and even though the gossip might be true, you don't have to fall into the "judging vibe" of that gossip. Your energy goes down. Also you might put a label on somebody you just met or to have an opinion of someone you already know for years and this is quite limiting. It puts a "hold on" you and on them. It puts you in a box. You see the world from that "point of view". It's like seeing through a straw. You act and speak to them according to this "hold". You act icy or warm. What is the opposite of having these opinions have a "hold of you"? To be "in wonder" is the opposite. People can't get "a hold of you" when you are "in wonder". Especially when you get amused inside by their comments and attacks. They're funny!

You can get your power back. Sometimes connection with yourself is about "disconnecting" with people that may have a "hold of you". It does not mean you take them out of your life. Sometimes you can't. It just means you don't "let" their comments or attitudes bother you. This can be done from the heart. If you don't "let" the comments or presence bother you from the mind, guilt comes in because you are feeling bad that you are not letting these particular human beings bother you or have their way. If you "let" from the mind, you "let" with anger. When guilt or anger come in, they still have a "hold of you". When you disconnect lovingly from these bothersome thoughts and get into action, you did your part and with your heart because you did it lovingly. Then you wait for "it" to let go of you. You are going to notice it when you feel like yourself again. You notice that the heaviness lifts.

When you get into action in what you like to do, you are not thinking about what this person said or did or what they want you to say to someone in an angry way. You get into action in your big game. Your business. A man or a woman cannot be your big game. They eventually get a "hold of you". Your big game is your business, your function (Lesson #9). You keep your energy and you make great memories with your team. When you focus on what you like to do and you are having pleasure while doing it, this person or situation does not have a "hold of you" and your "vibe" gets into another dimension. All of a sudden you get a call or something about a deal you were waiting for or an opportunity that you would never have thought of presents itself!! All it takes is to go into action doing what you love and having pleasure doing it. Your true essence is a magnetic one when you keep your power.

INSTRUCTION FOR YOU TO KEEP YOUR POWER AND FOR YOU TO SERVE THE TEAM SPIRIT (NOT A PERSON IN PARTICULAR):

Do not let anyone have a "hold of you". Do not feel bad or guilty when you are not "letting" people get their way or not letting them have a hold of you. Give feedback if they are trying to have a hold of you. (Lesson #60). If they get a "hold of you", don't make yourself wrong. Just notice what is bothering you or what comment or opinion is influencing you to be angry or sad or "pleasing" and lovingly let it go. Wait lovingly until "it" lets go of you so you can feel like yourself again. Don't let it bother you if someone is not having fun in the party or home or work. Do not believe people's gossip even though it's true. Do not treat the people that they gossiped about according to their point of view. Just give feedback and detach so you keep your power. Do not say comments that might put a "hold" on someone.

If you see that someone activated your aggression and you can't "play" with the attack, excuse yourself so you can go for a walk or distance yourself. If you attack back, they took your power and they have a hold of you. Go get what you need. Do not think of where this person that attacked you is. Literally do not think where they are physically sitting at the table or standing around in the room. Do not put your attention on where they "are". Do not want to know where they "are" if you don't know where they are. Do not think about this person at all. If you do, they have a "hold of you" (Lesson #31). Do not criticize what they did. Do not tell anyone what they did. That just creates more drama. Do not make them wrong. Do not give them advice. Just observe. Give feedback if you want. (Lesson #56 / Lesson #73 & #74 / Lesson #60)

Do not make people wrong that might want to have a hold of you or anyone else. Do not give them advice. Just observe. Give feedback if you want. (Lesson #56 / Lesson #73 & #74 / Lesson #60). (All this is what a toddler would do and as an adult if you do this you keep your connection and your power. When you follow these instructions, your level of trust opens and you are open to receive.)

You are "in resistance" if you do any of these behaviors below. A resistance "leaks" money and/or love AND stops your momentum of your results, your adventure and aliveness. When you have a resistance or a mood, you block $10,000 of income. People create a memory of your reactions and behaviors and then decide to stay around or distance themselves. You don't have to keep everyone happy. It's not about that. It's about keeping the team spirit up in case you want to keep those particular people around (family or business). It's also about keeping the connection so you support yourself and the team at hand to create and receive possibilities that individually could not have been possible. Everyone gets clear instead of "blurry" without the pressure or obstacles these resistances create. When you drop these resistances (distractions), you have a better chance of becoming one of the 2% of high performers in the world. You can only drop these resistances with the help of your heart not with your mind.

All these resistances listed below create disconnection to yourself and the people around you. The ego is the one that wants you to feel small and wants everything to seem small. All these are when you are "in your head" where the ego is. The team "spirit" (of a business team or family team) goes down if:

• If you let anyone have a "hold of you".

• If you let a person's comments or attitudes bother you.

• If you let a person's comments or attitudes make you be mean to anyone.

• If you are doing things to be approved by someone.

• If someone's opinion of you is important to you.

• If guilt has a "hold of you". For example if you want to take a nap but you feel guilty that you want it or need it and/or you feel guilty that you took it.

Or if you feel bad that you spoke rude to someone or anything that you feel guilty or "feel bad" about.

(You just observe that you were rude and you don't make yourself wrong. You celebrate your mistake that you turned someone off and you try again).

• If something or someone has a "hold of you" and you let obsession come in.

• If you say things that another person influenced you to say.

• If you put yourself down because someone in the room has a "hold of you" and influenced you to NOT show your "light" because you care about how they feel if you comment you had a great time

at a very rich party.

• If you are taking into consideration somebody's feelings or somebody's point of view, they have a "hold of you".

• If you get bothered or distracted that someone is not having fun in the party or at home or at work.

• If you don't give feedback when someone is trying to have a "hold of you".

• If you can't talk to your ex-wife or ex-husband.

• If you don't let go lovingly the thoughts that are bothering you.

• If you fear the unknown, it has a "hold of you". And everything you fear has a hold of you. If you fear being alone, then your energy goes down.

If you fear nobody will give you attention, then your energy goes down. If you fear you will not pass the test or the interview, then your energy goes down.

Your attention is on yourself and the fear and all these types of situations have a "hold of you" if you pay attention to them.

• If you feel bad or angry at letting go the people that have a "hold of you".

• If you did something for a person for a day or for a week or for years, they did not thank you, you took it personal and this freeze you and you don't do things for anyone anymore. This has a "hold of you".

• If you make yourself wrong if someone has a "hold of you".

• If you make yourself wrong if you are trying to have a hold of someone.

• If you make anyone wrong that is trying to get a "hold of you".

• If you give advice trying to make anyone stop having a hold on someone.

• If you don't stop to observe that they are just coming from a shut down level of aliveness.

:::: Basically nothing is wrong or right. It just is. This way you keep your power and momentum.

:::: PERMISSIONS OF THIS LESSON:

- You have permission to be yourself and make comments or make decisions only from what YOU really want.

- You have permission to see clearly who or what wants to get a "hold of you" and just amuse yourself and laugh at it.

- You have permission to put aside what a person in the room or even miles away wants you to say or act like.

- You have permission to NOT manipulate others by NOT having a hold of them.

- You have permission to put all those punishing programs aside that want to control people to do what you want them to do.

- You have permission to put fear aside and love the unknown.

If you attach to the end result, your energy will go down. If you don't let anyone have a hold of you, it does not mean that people will be attracted to you immediately. It takes time to build trust and connection and there are many factors. You are "trying people out for your team. Not everyone will make it. Some are too addicted to pain and want to stay in the fight. You can let them go as quick as possible. They might come around later in a gentler mode but you can't force it. This is why there are 100 lessons. Please practice and study them all until the end so your connection understanding is complete. Please call Mariana Cortez if you have any questions on how to master this lesson (512) 636-8846 in the US. Sometimes it needs an "experience" to understand the lesson with your heart and playfulness instead of your mind. You have a free 30 minutes Language of Connection session over coffee or Skype with Mariana Cortez. Then any other day if you want you can schedule a 60 minute session for $60.

You can send this link to your friends for them to order THE LANGUAGE OF CONNECTION for only $200 and so you can all speak the same language if you want to:
thelanguageofconnection.teachable.com

Every single lesson is a review of what I learned at Sage University (www.sageuniversity.com) in this particular topic of this lesson. Check out their calendar tab. You could go to Europe to take a class over there! Sage University has amazing workshops about relationship, leadership, salesmanship and entrepreneurship in Ibiza Spain (and everywhere including Bora Bora and Hawaii) where you can transform into that person that you were born to be.