Lesson #44: WHEN YOU DON'T BELIEVE PEOPLE'S STORIES AND/OR PEOPLE'S ATTACKS, YOU CONNECT.

(APPRECIATION TOOL LESSON ---- brings happiness to your life and your heart opens)

DESCRIPTION: You can feel good every day. Your life can be very colorful …….. every ……… single …….. day. People attack you though. And you believe their attacks. You give people your power. For example they might have a story of you and they might comment something that you might take personal. Your ego demands that you fight back right away or you "make somebody wrong" RIGHT AWAY…… that very second!! The ego tells you to believe these lies and gets you to fight back because people are "taking advantage of you" or "you're weak" or "who is he/she to talk to you that way?". You think fighting back it's the right thing to do "to keep your power". It takes less than a second to fight back. These are called "fight or flight" reactions. These reactions will ALWAYS create disconnection. You believe a story and even if it's true about you, it might not even be true ALL the time. You believe words. Words take you out of your game. Words!!! If you take it personal, you gave that person your power and now you literally see the world "through the eyes of that person's opinion of you". They have a "hold of you" (Lesson #31). Nobody feels good or powerful and nobody feels like themselves after fighting TO BE RIGHT. You may feel released of your anger but in the process you created disconnection not only with the person you attacked back but with the people that witnessed it. Nobody "sees" each other after a fight or a resistance. There is high alert to see the drama unfold but NOT to see each other and what each other needs. Then of course other people will be told about your "fight or flight" behavior. You will lose trust points in other people's eyes. This leaks money and love. You might tell people about this person's attack too (which is gossip). When you tell people about how "victim" you are because someone attacked you and how unfair the attack was because of how "right you are", you are gossiping (Lesson #75) and also leaking money and love. When you get people to agree how "right" you are, then you have gone into the "right and wrong" world where it's very painful and heavy. You may think they connected to you but it's a connection of "fight". You think you live in a world of right and wrong. The good news is that you actually live in a world of facts that "are". Just "are". Nothing is about you (Lesson #33). You can convert the force of people's attacks into YOUR POWER. When you stay kind and playful you feel powerful AND you keep your power. Feelings and words are not "believed" in the world of facts. Only actions are "believed". Only facts are "believed". When you only see facts, all those thoughts from the ego like opinions, feelings of fear, self-pity, sadness, doubt, worry, resentment or disappointment cannot come in to make you feel small and powerless.

You can be free of all this noise and all these "pulls" in your mind. Every time people communicate something to you even if it's just one short phrase, it's a "hook". You can decide to be hooked or to see beyond that hook. For example someone says "You missed a step and you didn't do the exercise routine on the beat". You can measure your energy after someone says a hook like that to you. Even if it's true, watch if your fun went away because you got "hooked". You "let" it bother you. People's comments can suppress your fun only if you "let" them. And of course you can distance yourself from people that keep saying "hooks" to you. People have so many pressures and pain. "They" aren't even the ones that attack you. The pressure and pain (the ego) that is "in the air" and that people grab on to and identify with because they are so addicted to it is the one that attacked you. They will be grateful that you stayed kind and maybe will even give you gifts and referrals. It has happened to me many times.

Let's go deeper. Here are some more examples of stories that SEEM final and they don't have to be "believed": "They said they are not going to sign a contract for 12 months again" or "That man wants to sue the company I work for" or "My nephew is leaving his girlfriend now that she is pregnant". All these stories SEEM to be final but they don't have to be. You have the option to NOT believe them and to NOT give them your power. You have the option to "win" some people or to show people how to win others with the power of acknowledgements (Lesson #48), the power of yielding (Lesson #24) and the power of playfulness (Lesson #11). There might not be a change in the story in months or years or hours. You keep your power by not "believing" them in the first place!

INSTRUCTION FOR YOU TO KEEP YOUR POWER AND FOR YOU TO SERVE THE TEAM SPIRIT (NOT A PERSON IN PARTICULAR):

Don't believe people's stories or attacks. Do not create disconnection by fighting back. Do not go into a "fight or flight" reaction. Yield. Do not gossip. Do not make people agree how right you are. Stay kind and play. If they attacked you, amuse yourself inside your mind and say "So!!". This way you laugh at it all with one word. Believe only facts. Believe only actions. Do not believe people's hooks. Measure your energy after people's hooks. Get unhooked if you got hooked. Just see facts. Distance yourself from people that say hooks to you a lot. See beyond the hooks and people's pressure and pain to keep your power. Stay kind, grateful, keep your heart open and don't make people wrong that say these hooks to you. Do not believe stories that SEEM final. Win people by using the power of acknowledgements, yielding and playfulness. Do not attach to the end result. Do not make yourself wrong if you attacked back or if you did not stay kind. Do not make anyone wrong that attacked you. Do not give them advice. Just observe. Give feedback if you want. (Lesson #56 / Lesson #73 & #74 / Lesson #60). (All this is what a toddler would do and as an adult if you do this you keep your connection and your power. When you follow these instructions, your levels of happiness & self-esteem open and you are open to receive.)

You are "in resistance" if you do any of these behaviors below. A resistance "leaks" money and/or love AND stops your momentum of your results, your adventure and aliveness. When you have a resistance or a mood, you block $10,000 of income. People create a memory of your reactions and behaviors and then decide to stay around or distance themselves. You don't have to keep everyone happy. It's not about that. It's about keeping the team spirit up in case you want to keep those particular people around (family or business related). When you drop these resistances (distractions), you have a better chance of becoming one of the 2% of high performers in the world. You can only drop these resistances with the help of your heart not with your mind.

All these resistances listed below create disconnection to yourself and the people around you. The ego is the one that wants you to feel small and wants everything to seem small. All these are when you are "in your head" where the ego is. The team "spirit" (of a business team or family team) goes down if:

• If you believe people's attacks and people's stories.

• If you attack back.

• If you gossip.

• If you make people agree how right you are.

• If you don't stay kind.

• If you believe all the stories your ego wants you to assume and make up that make you feel small.

• If you believe people's "hooks".

• If you get mad that somebody pointed out a fact about you and you let that "hook" suppress your fun.

• If you get mad if somebody compares you to somebody else that that somebody else does something better than you. You believed that hook.

• If you believe stories that SEEM final.

• If you attach to the end result when you are trying to win people or change stories that seem final.

• If you make yourself wrong for attacking back or for not staying kind.

• If you make anyone wrong that is attacking back or for not staying kind.

• If you give advice trying to make anyone not attack back.

• If you don't stop to observe that they are just coming from a shut down level of aliveness.

:::: Basically nothing is wrong or right. It just is. This way you keep your power and momentum.

:::: PERMISSIONS OF THIS LESSON:

- You have permission to convert people's attacks into your power.

- You have permission to not believe people's attacks or stories or hooks.

- You have permission to say inside you "SO?!!!"

- You have permission to NOT attack back and ONLY see facts and actions to keep your power.

- You have permission to stay kind.

- You have permission to win people no matter how "final" a story may seem.

- You have permission to follow where it feels good.

If you attach to the end result, your energy will go down. If you don't believe people's stories and attacks, it does not mean that people will be attracted to you immediately. It takes time to build trust and connection and there are many factors. You are "trying people out for your team". Not everyone will make it. Some are too addicted to pain and want to stay in the fight. You can let them go as quick as possible. They might come around later in a gentler mode but you can't force it. This is why there are 100 lessons. Please practice and study them all until the end so your connection understanding is complete. Please call Mariana Cortez if you have any questions on how to master this lesson (512) 636-8846 in the US. Sometimes it needs an "experience" to understand the lesson with your heart and playfulness instead of your mind. You have a free 30 minutes Language of Connection session over coffee or Skype with Mariana Cortez. Then any other day if you want you can schedule a 60 minute session for $60.

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thelanguageofconnection.teachable.com

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